Jeff the MEWF timekeeper, in the absence of Dark Cheetah, presents the results of the March 26 card of the Mid-Eastern Wrestling Federation.

Another capacity crowd, about 500, was in attendance for the card put together by promoter Dennis Wipprecht.

1) The Goodfellas (Dino Casanova & Romeo Valentino), pinned Leather & Lace ("Insatiable" Adrian Hall & "Ramblin'" Rich Carlyle), in 10:52, as manager Royce Prophet distracted referee Jeff Jones, allowing the healthy Goodfella to illegally replace his groggy partner in the ring.

2) The 10-man Battle Royal was won by Joe Thunder in 8:38. "Hollywood" Bob Starr was the next to last in the ring. The others, from third-from-last down to first eliminated, were: Kabuki Kid, Morgus the Maniac, "Outrageous" Ricky Lane, Johnny Taylor, Quinn Nash, Mark Shrader, DP Ferguson, and Billy Brat.

3) The Ultimate Comet kept his Mid-Atlantic heavyweight title by pinning Lucifer (Knight of the Road), in 10:17. Not even the interference of Lucifer's manager "Stud" Lee Osborne and bodyguard The Freak of Nature could prevent his being pinned.

4) Dr. Pain, a protégé of Axl Rotten, debuted by pinning the Kabuki Kid after choke-slamming him at 1:30. I could hear "911" cheers from the peanut gallery.

5) Mad Dog O'Malley defended his MEWF championship by pinning The World's Greatest Wrestling Clown in 1:07. His Dogness then proceeded to put his belt up against anyone else who wanted to try him. He disposed of Billy Brat first, then Johnny Taylor. Then the Ultimate Comet came out and proceeded to wear O'Malley down. He had him down for the pin but unfortunately referee Dave the Wave had been bumped. By the time Dave came to, Corporal Punishment had beat the hell out of Comet and it was the Corporal who Dave counted on top of O'Malley for the pin. Corporal Punishment is the new MEWF champion. After the match, the other referee, Jeff Jones, came to the ring and berated Dave the Wave for his work in the last match. Dave took exception and the two refs. started to brawl. It reminded me of the many fights I have had to break up in school cafeterias during my teaching career. Axl Rotten, Dr. Pain and the Ultimate Comet finally pulled the two apart, coming to Dave's aid and chasing Jeff from the ring. Both refs. issued a challenge, and a Dave-vs.-Jeff match will occur next month at Bingo Bill's. I assured ring announcer and table-mate Al Albert that a similar challenge match between the two of us would never occur. As I made my way back to the dressing rooms for intermission I noticed that The Clown, Taylor and Brat were still lying unconscious on the floor near ringside.

6) Sweet & Sour ("Luscious" Johnny Brown and Rob Noxious), beat Mason Dixon (Bulldozer Benton & JR Willett), for the MEWF Tag Team title in 11:04. Mike Khoury and John Crystal were at ringside, observing both teams. Perhaps they are the next contenders.

7) The Cat Burglar may have lost his mask several minutes into the match but he did win the MEWF Light-Heavyweight title from Mark "the Shark" Shrader (managed by Isis) in 4:49.

Between the seventh and eighth matches, longtime local manager Joe Cool returned to the wrestling scene after an absence of over a year. He conducted a "Cool's Corner" interview with Billy Brat. Billy's apology to the fans for his recent behavior was interrupted by Corporal Punishment who beat up Billy and declared him a POW.

8) Luna Vachon pinned Malia Hosaka in 5:06. Great action, nice to look at. These 45-year-old hormones thank The Big Guy Upstairs for giving me the seat closest to this action for the past three nights (I time kept for NWL cards in Pennsylvania & West Virginia the two previous nights--refer to last week's RR).

9) Axl Rotten (seconded by Dr. Pain), pinned the Metal Maniac (managed by Royce Prophet) in 10:14. For the third consecutive night Royce Prophet did NOT get pantsed --this may be a record.

10) In the main event, Superfly Jimmy Snuka (for whom the crowd mega-popped), pinned Johnny Polo (managed by Isis), in 10:58 after a Superfly Leap off the top rope.