| Pennsylvania Championship Wrestling - March 7, 1997 - Reading, PA |
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| Thursday, March 06, 1997 | |||
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One of the more prominent independent promotions featured on the AOL Grandstand over the past couple of years has been Blaine DeSantis's Reading-based Pennsylvania Championship Wrestling promotion. I had wanted to see this group in action for some time, and I finally decided to take the trip up to Reading. I had noticed that the group featured some performers I had seen many times before (Glenn Osborne, Julio Sanchez), some I had seen for the first time two months ago at the Wilmington, DE, ECWA show (Cheetah Master, Boogie Woogie Brown, Ace Darling, Lance Diamond, etc.), some that have had their own niche of Internet wrestling fame (Quackenbush), and others I was watching for the first time. This was PCW's first night at its new home base, the gym, or "Cloisters" at St. Joseph's Catholic Church in Reading, having moved there this month from the previous home base of the Stokesay Castle Restaurant. Spectators and workers seemed to indicate that this new venue was a much better place to watch the matches than was Stokesay.. Call it "God's Wrestling Emporium", I guess. As I came into the building, I noticed the concession stand set up (not bad, I may add) and manned by a group of people from the church. Almost everyone of the female persuasion at the stand reminded me in some way of the Dana Carvey "Church Lady" character from "Saturday Night Live". I almost expected them sometime during the night to start a "Isn't that special?" cheer; but that was not to be. They were nice people; just seemed to be a bit out-of-place at a wrestling show. Also kind of a culture shock was the first sight of the church gym and the wrestling ring, with a cage set up in the middle. My first thought was that maybe the Christians were planning to get their revenge against the caged lions or something <shrug>. In the crowd, I ran into many people I had seen, or at least whose names I had seen before, either from wrestling or from the Internet. There was the ever-present Mike "RasslinMD" DiMuzio, who must be headed for the Guinness book for number of indie wrestling matches seen in one's lifetime; Jim Krick, faithful poster of PCW previews on AOL and occasionally rspw; Carrie "FyreKisses" Messantonio, formerly associated with PCW and still an ardent fan, who was there with her beau; Ed Zohn, rspw regular and the promoter who first made me a timekeeper, and for whom I will ring the bell again at a card in Lancaster next month; PWI editor/columnist Brandi Mankiewicz; ECWA promoter Jim Kettner; and, just spectating, three of the wrestlers who have been recent regulars at MEWF cards--"Dangerous" Devon Storm, Pinky Flamingo, and the Bodacious Pretty Boy. Before I go any further, may I express a debt of gratitude to the guys sitting near me whom I pestered before most matches asking who many of the unfamiliar-to-me wrestlers were. There didn't seem to be a bad seat in the house, as I would estimate the attendance at around 250 mostly-enthusiastic fans. About the only drawback all night is that I found myself sitting directly in front of one of the sound system's speakers. Took some getting used to. As ring announcer MATT DeSANTIS introduced refs JAMIE THOMPSON and RICH ASH, the crowd anxiously anticipated the first match, which was the first of two cage matches that were to begin the card. About the only people not caring were Church Ladies and friends at the concession stand, seemingly oblivious to the action at hand. MATCH #1: COL. JIHAD HUSSEIN (with THE ROCKER) vs. THE CREMATOR in a loser-leaves-PCW-for-90-days cage match. I didn't really know the story behind this feud. Neither did the group of fans sitting near me; but it really didn't seem to hamper the fans' enjoyment of this card. Hussein comes out, waving the Iraqi flag and billing himself as the "Heavyweight Wrestling Champion of Iraq", and provokes instant "USA! USA!" chants from the crowd. Cremator, on the other hand, is billed as being from "Man's deepest fears" and comes out with an American flag. This, along with the next match, is a WWF-style cage match in which the first man out of the ring is declared the winner. At the start of the match, we are treated to the visual non-sequitur of Hussein in mid-ring in the middle of a Catholic church praying to Mecca for guidance. Flags finally put away, the match begins. Initial back-and-forth action leads to Hussein getting the upper hand as the "USA" chants get louder. The Iraqi devastates Cremator with a DDT and tries to climb over the cage (Yo! Dumb[rectum]!--try ASKING THE REF TO OPEN THE CAGE DOOR AND GO OUT THAT WAY!. That's one aspect of cage matches that has always defined explanation--why guys prefer climbing out of the cage rather than asking the ref to open the door. Editorializing mode off now, back to the action) Cremator then pulls Hussein back down and hits a couple of hot seats and spinebusters. Suddenly appearing at ringside are two other wrestlers, identified by my neighbors as DIABLOS MACABRE and LUCIFER GRIMM, although I never figured out which one was which. One of them throws a chair into the ring in an attempt to help Hussein. Cremator, however, grabs the chair first, hits Jihad over the head with it, and then bulldogs the Iraqi onto the chair. Seeing that their first attempt at help backfired, the two guys then climbed over the top into the cage; but are met by an awesome-looking double chokeslam on the part of Cremator. As Cremator turns his attention once more to Hussein, one of the two intruders throws a fireball into Creemie's eyes, and as Creemie tries to regain his vision, the Iraqi asks the ref to open the cage door (Finally, the dumb[rectum] gets a clue <g>) and walks out. Hussein wins in 8:03 as Cremator takes an unwanted 90-day leave of absence from PCW. MATCH #2: GLENN OSBOURNE vs. LANCE DIAMOND (with JUDD THE STUD) for the Pan-Americas title held by Diamond. Judd is apparently the most successful manager currently in PCW, as his stable of "Stallions" seems to be overloaded with championship belts as they make their appearances throughout the night. Lance comes out to the strains of "Jesus Christ Superstar", which I guess fits the setting here. I notice that the Church Ladies at the concession stand are cracking a smile as the music plays. Lance takes the mike and berates the audience for not giving him the respect that a Pan-Americas titleholder supposedly deserves. Judd then rants against promoter BLAINE DeSANTIS, saying he had never signed his charge for a cage match. Next out is the challenger, "the Madman from the Badlands", Glenn Osbourne. It had been conjectured that Glenn would be out with an injury for several months; indeed he was physically unable to work the most recent MEWF card; but Glenn came out, ready to wrestle in the cage but limping badly. In a gutsy move, Osborne attacks Diamond outside the cage and has to drag Lance inside the cage to officially start the match. Manager Judd is going absolutely ballistic at this point. Glenn puts on a series of power moves and begins to climb out of the cage (I guess whatever that disease Jihad Hussein had, Glenn was infected, too. ASK THE REF TO OPEN THE DOOR, DAMMIT!); however, Judd the Stud distracts Glenn, enabling Diamond to sneak attack and begin his own period of in-the-ring domination. Lance, obviously *not* infected with the same malady, walks to the cage door and asks the ref to open it; but before he can make his exit, he is clipped from behind by Osbourne. Glenn then tries to leave, but is pulled back by Lance. The two battle in front of the open door as they strain to leave the cage; but the action eventually reverts back to the middle of the ring and the cage door is closed. The two then engage in a battle of strength, which Glenn wins with the help of some face and chest rakes. Lance counters by flipping Glenn into the ropes. Glenn then DDT's lance, following with a great-looking dropkick. Unfortunately that great-looking dropkick (even more awesome when you remember Glenn is operating basically with a bum ankle) was in front of the open cage door and all Glenn succeeded in doing was to dropkick Lance out of the cage. Lance is the first guy out of the cage in 10:31 and retains the belt. Glenn goes ballistic on the ref for his having opened the cage door in the first place, I guess. MATCH #3: LIGHTNING MIKE QUACKENBUSH vs. DAVE PATERA (with BARRY CASINO). Quackenbush is making what is apparently his second PCW appearance after a long and storied career with the Penn State U-based BackYardWrestlingFed. Funny, but I had imagined all of Quack's matches as being against Perfect Creation. His opponent tonight was Perfect only in the minds of the opposition and of course manager Casino. Dave Patera is billed as "weighing 180 pounds" and as being "the strongest man in the world". He comes out to the familiar Olympic games music (I wish they'd drop that new-fangled NBC version of the theme and go back to the ABC music that we heard for all those many years; then again, I wish Bruno Sammartino were WWF champ again and that Frank Robinson were still hitting home runs for the Orioles). Patera comes out lifting these tiny five-pound weights (maybe they're one- or two-pound weights, I'm not sure). For those of you who want a better picture of Patera, he's bodily more reminiscent of Steve Corino than of Ken Patera. Barry Casino grabs the mic and has Patera go through various posts "Look at those triceps. Look at those biceps. Look at those deltoids. Look at that...no, don't look at *that*". When the match finally begins, Quackenbush goes to the air and hits Patera with various flying maneuvers. In something also very reminiscent of Steve Corino, Patera goes straight to Casino and cries on his shoulder. The action gets faster as the two wrestlers exchange fireman's carries, leg sweeps, kip ups, and other mat moves. Patera will occasionally flex his "muscles" during the match. Every time he does this, a couple of louder spectators yell out "anorexia". Quackenbush finds his head draped over a rope and Casino goes to work with his cane as Patera distracts the referee. Patera continues to work on Quackenbush until his attempt at a pile driver is foiled by a Quacky back flip. Quack then wraps Patera up and rolls him around the ring. Patera is thrown out of the ring, and Quackenbush dives off the top rope onto the prone Patera. He then drags Dave back into the ring, covering him for a two count as Casino makes sure his charge's feet are under the ropes before the ref hits three. With the ref distracted, Casino throws his cane to Patera. Quack intercepts, hits Patera with the cane, but doesn't follow up as Casino distracts him. This gives Patera enough time to hit Quack over the head with the cane and cover him for the pin in 7:01. After the match, with Patera and Casino back in the locker room, the woozy Quackenbush is confronted by a newcomer to PCW, introducing himself as "Joey Ruliano, or as the guys in south Philadelphia call me, Joe Rules". He calls Quackenbush a "piece of garbage" and a "disgrace". Quackenbush then dropkicks Rules. Rules then challenges Quacky to a match, and Quacky chases Joe back to the lockers. MATCH #4: JUDD THE STUD (with just about every belt-holding heel in the promotion) vs. "IRISHMAN" PAT SHAMROCK. This match is for the Jr. Heavyweight title currently held by Shamrock. Judd comes out with every member of his stable of Stallions--JULIO SANCHEZ, LANCE DIAMOND, MARK MEST, ACE DARLING, DOPEY, SNEEZY, DOC, DONNER, BLITZEN, WYNKEN, BLINKEN, MOE and SHEMP--or so it seems). Pat takes the mic and says he refuses to wrestle until Judd's entourage goes to the back. Judd says he'll send everybody back except Diamond--he somehow found a loophole where he can temporarily transfer his manager's licence to Diamond for this match <huh?> Pat agrees, and the match starts. Pat immediately gets the crowd to do the "Weasel! Weasel!" chant. The crowd is popping big-time at this point, more so than for any previous match on the card. Good match action, plenty of good moves and fast spots. Eventually Pat puts Judd in a spinning leglock, but Judd grabs the ropes. Lance Diamond tries to distract Shamrock, but Shamrock responds by renewed attention to Judd, putting him in a spinning toehold submission maneuver. As the ref is concentrating on whether Judd will submit or not, Lance hits Pat over the head with his Pan-Americas belt. Judd covers a KO'd Shamrock for the easy pin and title win at 3:46. The Stallions return to celebrate the fact that their stable is now in possession of every single belt in PCW--a feat that Judd calls "unprecedented" in *any* federation. MATCH #5: BRITTANY BROWN vs. BRANDI ALEXANDER. This is probably the first women's match in literally years that I have seen live that didn't involve Debbie Combs, Malia Hosaka, Peggy Lee Leather or Bambi. Kind of refreshing, if you ask me, to see different talent in the area, taking nothing away from the talents of any of the women mentioned. Brittany comes out first, and she's a tall one--in a feminine rather than Amazonish kind of way, as opposed to, say, that woman who's been stalking Marlena. Brittany quickly picks a war of words with several front-row spectators. Brandi, who is *not* Brandi Mankiewicz for those of you who may have been wondering, is definitely the people's choice here. Brittany attacks Brandi from behind, and immediately mistakes Brandi for one of those Duncan Deluxe Yo-Yos, mistaking Brandi's hair in particular for the yo-yo string. She then takes Brandi to the mat and chokes the [expletive deleted] out of her. Brandi finally reverses the trend and gets a two-count on Brittany. The two trade pinning combinations in some fast action, slowed down when Brittany delivers a leg drop to the cojones--or, rather, to where the cojones would be if females had them <g>. Brandi eventually recovers to throw Brittany out of the ring, and Brittany takes her time in returning. A fingerlock test of strength is won by Brandi, who then leg-scissorses (Is that a real verb--scissorses? Well, anyway, it works here for my purposes.) Brittany for several two-counts. Same for some arm-scissors maneuvers. Brittany then punches Brandi, throwing her to the floor, then turning her attention once more to the front-row hecklers. Ms. Alexander then tries a suplex but is pushed off by Ms. Brown, who then covers her for a pin as the ref, oblivious to the fact that Ms. Brown is using the ropes for leverage. Brittany by pinfall in 6:37. Then, the number one challengers for the tag team title, JACQUES BONET and BOOGIE WOOGIE BROWN, call out CHEETAH MASTER, who will be wrestling for the individual title. They make a pact that they will watch each other's backs during the championship matches. Boogie Woogie then has the whole audience clapping and dancing to his ring music. Then, promoter BLAINE DeSANTIS addresses the crowd, announces that PCW will be back at St. Joseph's on Friday, April 2, and introduces some notables in the crowd. BARRY BLAUSTEIN, a documentary maker from Hollywood, is working on a RON HOWARD-produced documentary about the world of pro wrestling which will be released sometime in 1998. Blaustein has been here tonight taping interviews with wrestlers, other workers, and fans. Also introduced is television executive KEN BENNETT, who will be attempting to secure PCW a regular television spot in the very near future. MATCH #6: LUCIFER GRIMM & DIABLOS MACABRE vs. ROCKIN' RONNIE & VINNIE BIONDO. Lucifer and Diablos are accompanied to ringside by assistant PCW commissioner DIANE HART, who announces she is now one of Diablos's disciples and that she's "... no longer Diane" but rather "Diabolique". I still can't tell Grimm and Macabre apart. They are both about the same size and their faces are covered with long hair. I can't help noticing that these two guys look like bulked-up versions of Axl Rotten's current MEWF "pet", Ginger Lynn Lucas. On the other hand, it's easy to tell Ronnie and Vinne apart, since Vinnie weighs about 200 pounds more than Ronnie. Well, anyway.... The two bad guys spend the first 3 or four minutes pounding on Ronne before the tag to Vinne is made. Vinnie cleans house for a while, and the four guys eventually wind up brawling outside the ring. Eventually Ronnie drags one of the long-haired guys back into the ring and covers for a two-count. He then tags to Vinnie, who does a body drop on the guy, and Vinnie gets the pin in 5:58. After the match, VINNIE BIONDO announces to the crowd that he's going to have to take some time off for "medical problems" and thanks the crowd for supporting him and PCW. He gets a warm send-off. MATCH #7: TROY MEST &UNCLE HORACE MEST & YANCEY "ALLEY OOP" MEST vs. CHEF D.Z. GILLESPIE & THE OUTLAW MAXX CRIMSON & MR. OOH LA LA (with BARRY CASINO) in a match for the newly-created six-man tag team championship. The trophy going to the winners has been on display at the press table most of the night, and it's a beauty. Barry Casino refuses to let his men wrestle until "those hillbillies", a.k.a. the Mests, leave the ring and allow Camp Casino to enter. The hillbillies indeed vacate the ring, allowing Mr. Ooh La La to disrobe to the strains of the classic David Rose tune "the Stripper" (as visions of 30-year-old Noxzema shaving cream commercials are conjured up, at least in the minds of people as old as I am). The humongous Chef starts out trying to flop on Troy but he misses and getts stomped on for his troubles. The hillbillies take turns beating on the Chef, and after the first four minutes, no other member of Camp Casino has even been in the ring. Finally the tag is made to Mr Ooh La La, who works over Troy. During this period, "le pseudo-français" keeps on yelling "Ooh, la, la"--(By the way, the correct French is "Oh, la, la", not "Ooh..." Cunning linguist mode off now, back to our regularly-scheduled mat action.) and each yell is met by Uncle Horace's bellowing like a cow. Troy gets the upper hand once again and pummels OLL; then the match goes out of control as they fight all around and outside the ring. With the ref (If he had one more eye, he'd be a Cyclops) distracted, Yancey is hit on the head with the Chef's baking tin, and is covered by Crimson for the pin in 6:18. Camp Casino wins the six-man trophy, and the three are joined by manager Casino and Dave Patera for the post-match celebration. MATCH #8: Challengers JACQUES BONET & BOOGIE WOOGIE BROWN vs. champions MEAN MARK MEST & ACE DARLING (with JUDD THE STUD) for the PCW tag team title. Ironically, after that big intermission pact that had been made, Cheetah Master was nowhere to be found during this match <shrug>. The crowd wastes no time in getting on Judd with the "Weasel" chant. The match starts with a lot of posturing in the middle of the ring from Darling and the huge Boogie Woogie. Ace then tags to Mest, and the two *huge* men collide in the middle of the ring. Mest is proportioned exactly like Crusher Jerry Blackwell had been in his prime. The resemblance from the neck down is uncanny. The two big guys collide, with Mest getting the worst of it. Both then tag off, and it's now Ace vs. Jacques. Bonet with an arm bar, Ace counters by backing Jacques into the ropes and kicking and punching him. Jacques reverses and body slams Ace, covering him for a two count. Jacques is backed into a rope where he is met by a Mest knee. The ref is busy getting Boogie Woogie back to his tag corner as Mest goes to work, splashing Bonet. One splash attempt is missed, and in comes Ace, covering Bonet for several two-counts. Ace then misses a leap off the top rope, as Bonet moves. Jacques *finally* tags to Boogie Woogie, and the big guy goes to town. He clotheslines Ace, then whips Mest into the already-wobbly Darling. Boogie then goes for the big splash, but at the two count, Judd and Mest maneuver Ace's feet under the ropes. Ace, now resembling a pancake, drops out of the ring and can't get back in. In 9:10, Brown and Bonet win by count out, but Darling and Mest retain the titles. Boogie Woogie Brown takes the mic and angrily demands a rematch for the April 4 card. And now, the main event, for the PCW heavyweight title: MATCH #9: Challenger CHEETAH MASTER vs. champion "HOT STUFF" JULIO SANCHEZ (with JUDD THE STUD). Cheetah Master *does* appear for this one, and I don't see anyone coming out with him to watch his back, either--although that doesn't mean it won't happen <g>. (Again, I remark to myself how much physically Cheetah Master resembles a younger version of former WIN heavyweight champion A.C. Golden a.k.a Golden Phoenix a.k.a Mark Freer--does anyone know whatever happened to A.C., by the way--that's A.C. Golden, not to be confused with A.J. Fritzoid--but I'm digressing again--must be that creeping Alzheimer's--let's leave this stream-of-idiocy and get back to the action). Julio, the man the fans love to hate, immediately causes controversy by accusing Cheetah of pulling his hair in the clinches, and the ref buys his story for a while. Cheetah eventually scores with a series of dropkicks that force Sanchez out of the ring. This is followed by a body slam and a flying headbutt off the top rope. Then some "Flair-chops" in the corner. All Cheetah Master so far; but this changes when CM misses a dive off the ropes. Julio scores with a flying neckbracker, as the crowd derisively chants "Taco Bell! Taco Bell!" Sanchez covers for a two-count and then throws CM out of the ring. As a woozy CM comes back in, Julio scores with some more arm drops and leg drops. He covers for the pin but nonchalants it, allowing Master to easily kick out at the two count. Cheetah then gets the upper hand once more and applies the figure-four to Sanchez. Julio reaches the ropes, necessitating a breat. CM with a back flip, then with an elbow into a charging Julio. CM with a leap off the top rope. Then enter LANCE DIAMOND. He goes after Cheetah Master. Enter the limping trouper GLENN OSBOURNE. He goes after Diamond. Enter every member of Judd's Stallions. Evening things on the other side, enter JACQUES BONET and BOOGIE WOOGIE BROWN. Brawls, maxi fights, and mini-skirmishes abound. Unfortunately, Cheetah Master was distracted by this all. Julio sneaks up from behind and scores a pin on CM in 11:23. As a result of this match, promoter BLAINE DeSANTIS too the mic and before wishing everyone a good night, announced that next month's main event would be a rematch between JULIO SANCHEZ and CHEETAH MASTER, lumberjack rules. Judd's Stallions would comprise half the lumberjacks, and CM can choose an equal number of his own.
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